A common theme that plays throughout all women’s journeys of finding the right man, include the bait and switch. Now, I call it the bait and switch because in reality, it’s called hope. Hope is too pretty of a word, and this my friend, is always an ugly situation. So the bait and switch it is.
A friend of mine came to me with a situation that she seems to be experiencing over and over again. Warning lights: the word “over and over again” do not mean that you are getting dealt a bad hand time after time, it means that you just aren’t getting it. You are doing the same shit with a different guy and expecting a different outcome (cough, cough, it’s call insanity). So this friend told me about her situation at hand. Having it all sound just a little too familiar, I gave her the real advice that I wish would have been given to me at the time I was going through the same thing. But the big red flashing lights came on when she told me that she was considering seeing him later that week. If it had been a cartoon, I would of pulled a sledgehammer out of my purse, hit her with it and walked away as if nothing happened. But it wasn’t… unfortunately.
At first I was open. I have been in similar situations and I wanted to hear her reasons for even considering going to see him. After I listened to her go on, excuse after excuse and really just making an excuse for pretty much everything, I sat there with my mouth opened. Nothing had changed. He was no different. He did not love her or treat her how she needed to be treated. And yet the saddest part was, that this beautiful woman was sitting in front of me, was now telling me it was her fault that he acted like this and she was to blame… FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED YEARS AGO. Really? Newsflash lady, it’s the present and tomorrow is the future, ain’t nobody looking back to your past, hell he probably doesn’t even remember what he ate for lunch today.
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Bait and switch. He got her, just how they all do. They go on a hiatus for a couple of months and then they come in with their rod, drop the bait and winner winner, chicken dinner, they’ve got you. It’s so easy, hell I have done it. It does not take rocket 
science, yet we as woman sit here for hours wondering and thinking and analyzing the shit out of every word, sentence, semi-colon that he’s ever used. Now how the bait and switch works, particularly on women is that we hold on to these little, tiny, miniscule pieces of hope that they will be that guy that we knew when we first met them or they will change for you… blah blah blah. Girl, they aren’t changing for you and you probably have a better chance of the sky turning purple before that’s gonna happen.
All of us fall for the bait and switch. I have several times and I now know its all because I went off a little bit of hope. And you know where that hope comes from for me, those fricken romance movies like The Notebook and PS I Love You shit that’s out there. Its bullshit. Nicolas Sparks can kiss my ass. Friggen Noah and Ali and getting caught in the rain. Assholes. In the end, I told my friend to wake up and face reality. If he wanted you, he would have been there… and been there YEARS AGO! Jesus. And he would be there now, and not three months later. Reality is a bitch, but she is my best friend. She is my best friend because she tells me what it is and what it is not. So as I sat there that night, I tried to be reality, I tried, well I didn’t really have to try, I was the bitch. I laid into her, told her the truth behind it all and left it at that. She is still my friend and I will always support her decisions. Sometimes a spoken word once, is more effective than a spoken word twice xo