The Spiral Squad

Have you ever gone through a period in your life where you feel like things are spiraling out of control and the idea of “being prepared” or “preparing for the worse” seems like an impossible task? More than likely, your mind has already started turning the wheels, remembering those moments. So let me ask you? What was the one thing in common that all of these moments had with each other? The answer is control and more than likely, your assumed lack of it. 

There are numerous ways in which people try to be control. Some find themselves preparing continuously and hoarding items that they may someday need. Others find control in ownership, whether it be ownership of a home, ownership of an animal, or even ownership over a person. We all view control differently. Some view it personally, as in being control of your decisions or your feelings, where others view it as, literally having control over tangible items. But no matter how you view control, you are never really in control. There are many outside factors that can change your situation, basically changing pretty much everything you have done, or did to  try be in control. I find myself comparing control to karma. Control is something that will appear when you need it, similar to karma, but control is not as reliable as karma. Because what is the age old saying? Karma is a bitch and she is strong and fierce. 

I have been spending a lot of my time this summer reading. I am finding some books to be better than some  network TV shows, especially since Game of Thrones is officially over. Side note: I am reading the GOT books this summer as a way to ease my Sunday 9:00pm PTSD #itsreal. During my search for thriller, self-help, and humerous books, I stumbled upon the concept of bullet journaling, or bujo as followers refer to it. My current planner isn’t living up to expectations (separate blog to follow) and the concept of bujo sparked an interest. I decided to pick up the book first, before diving in and I am glad I did.

Now, I am pausing here for a minute, because I know what is about to happen. This post about “control” will soon spiral out of control and I will begin talking about my planner issues #alsoreal. However, I won’t and I will get back on track by stating how the bullet journal book has done so much more for me than teaching me how to organize my thoughts and my life. The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll is a book that goes above and beyond the expectations of a “how-to” book. It goes deeper than a basic “how-to”  and it has forced me to take the time to do things that I wouldn’t have done otherwise. Things like setting goals with real expectations, breaking down goals into “sprints” or baby steps, and even eliminating tasks and errands that just are not beneficial to me. I have learned how to start putting myself first again, and understanding that if I do not get to something after quite some time, more than likely it is not important. It has been a balancing act for my life and the things in it. I have been able to put things in perspective little by little. While reading the other night, there was one sentence I read that was almost the best advice I have ever been given. 

“We can’t control our feelings, people or external events. But there is something we can control, and it is very powerful. We can control how we respond to what happens to us” 

Ryder Carroll, The Bullet Journal Method

Our emotions are the one thing we have control over, and the how we find ourselves responding to situations, truly define us as a person. Have you ever been with a group of friends and something goes wrong or things begin to spiralout of control? There is always one person in the group that steps up to the plate and takes control of the situation, while the others scurry around until given direction. Believe it or not, those situations, whether with friends, co-workers or even family members, point out the true leaders that surround us. There is also another way to take a look at this quote and it correlates to the universal proverbial question, 

"Is the glass half empty or half full?" 

How we react at the situations that spiral out of our control, or even at certain points in our life where we find ourselves spiraling out of control, will pretty much lay the foundation of the situation, until it is resolved. Perfect example; a friend of mine recently accepted a new job and she has been psyching herself up for the new role and responsibilities. We were all really excited for her, and to be honest, maybe a little bit jealous that she was moving on to bigger and better things. Flash forward 3 weeks letter and I am receiving texts from her saying that she regrets ever leaving, she is miserable and feels like she didn’t know what she had. My ade to her was that while her situation does suck, it isn’t all that bad. I reminded her that at least she has a job, and some decent co-workers who can possibly help tp make the days a little easier. I told her that this is probably only one job out of the 10 or more she might have during her career, basically saying this isn’t forever.  In a sense, I was trying to make her see that while, yes she had left a career that she once was excited about, she had started a new chapter and at least discovered what she didn’t want to be doing. She needed to understand that she wouldn’t have discovered this without taking a chance. She no longer has to sit at her desk and wonder “what if?” And sometimes that is the greatest gift of all. I also asked her to try to change her attitude. Instead of texting me several times throughout the day, whining and complaining (no, I was not as harsh as that, even though at times I wanted to mute her notifications) to me about the lack of work or the mind numbing tasks she was being given, I asked her to try to accept the job for what it was. It was a job and to remind herself why she took it in the first place. Focusing on just that one or multiple reasons of why she left her previous position, should be an automatic reflection and realization that “you always miss what you don’t have. I suggested that she strive to learn something new each day, and make this section on her resume to be something that really tells her story. I wanted her to feel like she gave it her all and tried to turn lemons into lemonade. I wanted her to know, that a simple attitude change would be the one thing, she could control xo